Destination: Chicago

I have not updated my blog in forever. So here I go...It's sure to be an exciting post.

While I love St. Louis and all my friends here, I'm so ready for the next chapter of my life. I want to go out on my own, to a new city, to have new experiences, meet new people and feel like I'm actually moving forward in my life. Chicago is a good city for that. There are more opportunities there than here, it's not too far away, and it's an awesome place. DePaul will help me advance my writing skills, as well as better define what I want to do with writing.

I'm so apathetic to everything here...which has its good and bad points. Because I don't care I actually tend to do more of what I want to do. I go out more, have fun and try new places and things. But I feel like I'm standing still. AND sometimes I'm so ungodly bored.

Only six or seven more months...

Venting...

I've been very disturbed by human behavior lately. I've heard upsetting/crazy/scary stories from friends, and I've experienced many things first hand.

People have no respect for others, have huge egos and have anger issues. I'm sick of people patronizing me and those I work with. I'm tired of cocky sons of bitches who think the normal rules don't apply to them. I'm fed up with selfish, uncaring people who can't take a second for someone else — including those who think no one else's' time is valuable. I can't stand people who are spoiled rotten and have no work ethic, those who don't appreciate a day's work or a bit of hard-earned cash.

The Wallflowers concert

I went to The Wallflowers concert Sunday night and was a little disappointed. The show wasn't bad, it's just awkward when the fans are more into the show than the band.

I've loved The Wallflowers since about the time I was in fifth grade, but I have to admit, I don't know much more of their music than what's on Bringing Down the Horse. Being such a long-time fan, of course I was excited and interested to see them perform live.

After a long wait between sets, they came on stage very nonchalantly and started playing music right away. While they sounded great and looked good, their stage presence was lacking. They appeared somewhat uninterested in performing. They also didn't play many songs from Bringing Down the Horse, what I believe was their most popular album. They played 6th Avenue Heartache, Invisible City, Three Marlenas, Josephine and One Headlight.

I must admit though, that Jakob Dylan has a certain stage presence that makes it difficult not to watch him.

Palin = Doomsday

I must admit that Sarah Palin's resignation surprised me at first. I assumed she realized she'd made so much of an ass of herself that she was done with politics, or so I hoped. While to some her inability/unwillingness to complete the full-length of her first term in a political office meant she was finished politically, to Palin and others it meant more time for her to focus on her political ambitions (2012 election). Tell me, where's the integrity in that?
Now she is going to use her time to get herself in the public eye more and campaign for causes she believes in, whether they be republican or democratic causes. Apparently her 15 minutes weren't enough...she got a taste and wants more.
Realizing the world would end if Palin were to be elected in 2012, I've come up with a theory that ties in the the 2012 doomsday prediction. If the Myan calendar is right, and the world is supposed to end in 2012, I'm pretty sure it will be because Palin is elected. Sounds sensible, right?

The Girls

These are some excerpts from a book a tried to read once — I say tried because I didn't like it that much. I don't remember the name of the book, but it was strange. It was sort of like short stories but also had a lot of random paragraphs about certain people or subjects. I found a few pages from the book that I liked so I torn them out before giving it away.

NEW AGE
She seems to cool, so focused, so quiet, yet her eyes remain fixed upon the horizon.

You think you know all there is to know about her immediately upon meeting her, but everything you think you know is wrong. Passion flows through her like a river of blood.

She only looked away for a moment and the mask slipped, and you fell. All your tomorrows start here.

STRANGE
There are a hundred things she has tried to chase away the things she won't remember and that she can't even let herself think about because that's when the birds scream and the worms crawl and somewhere in her mind it's always raining a slow and endless drizzle.

You will hear that she has left the country, that there was a gift she wanted you to have, but it is lost before it reaches you. Late one night the telephone will sing, and a voice that might be hers will say something that you cannot interpret before the connection crackles and is broken.

Several years later, from a taxi, you will see someone in a doorway who looks like her, but she will be gone by the time you persuade the driver to stop. You will never see her again.

Whenever it rains you will think of her.

HAPPINESS
She feels at home on the range; ear-protectors in position, man-shaped paper target up and waiting for her.

She imagines, a little, she remembers, a little, and she sights and squeezes and as her time on the range begins she feels rather than sees the head and the heart obliterate. The smell of cordite always makes her think of the fourth of July.

You use the gifts God gave you. That was what her mother had said, which makes their falling out even harder, somehow.

Nobody will every hurt her. She'll just smile her faint vague wonderful smile and walk away.

It's not about the money. It's never about the money.

poem

your fingers gripped in mine
the sand falls through our hands.
from the fields of wheat and grain
to the skies that tell of rain.
of a time too small to measure
by a space confined by pressure.
from the mountains past the sea
to the slightest hint of apathy.
of a past scarred by pain
to a future not fought for in vain.
from the shadows in the room
to the light that came too soon.
here where to lovers lie
alone beneath the moon.

Summer evenings

It was all the familiar sights, smells and sounds of summers from my childhood. It hit me as I walked out onto and sat on the back deck of my new home. The smell of coals burning on a grill nearby. Birds chirping back and forth as if in conversation with each other. The spinning of the air conditioning from the side of the house. The hum of cicadas increasing and then slowly melting into the background.

It was the perfect time of the evening when the sun is setting and everything is alive but at peace. Lightening bugs dotted the small yard like shiny flakes of confetti drifting through the air. Porch lights came on as shades were drawn.

It had been awhile since I'd taken the time to sit outside and become apart of my natural surroundings. The swirling blue of the clouds, the orange streaks in the sky cast from the setting sun and the tall and narrow trees made me feel like a figure in a Van Gogh painting.

I couldn't remember the last time I'd just sat outside and taken everything in — not just observed, but became a part of it all. I realized this is exactly how summers looked, smelled and sounded as a kid growing up. Nothing was different, except me. I was older and more mature, and although I had changed, the core of me was still the same, like that young kid I once was. And while the thought of getting older somewhat scared me, it both comforted and thrilled me at the same time.

Massage Therapy...or Prostitution?

I was flipping through the Riverfront Times the other day — definitely just flipping, because, let's be honest, no one actually reads the RFT. I had never looked to closely at the classifieds section but figured I'd see if there were any jobs, and some of the listings under health and wellness stood out. They said they were for massage, but it was obvious they were for more than just a massage.

The ones that really stood out were:

*Hi come meet Skylar*
I am well skilled & I truly aim to please
Giving your mind & body what it wants and needs
Believe me you will leave with a smile.
in/out calls 24/7

AND

Call "OH-DEE"
For a professional full body
massage that puts a
BIG SMILE On Your Face.

That is exactly how they appeared in the paper, except BIG SMILE was underlined. Can they be serious?! It's obvious those are prostitutes. I can't believe the RFT would even include those.....oh wait, yes I can.